


Drop In Time

by socksAF



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Has Issues, F/M, First War with Voldemort, Fluff and Humor, Gay Sirius Black, M/M, Minor James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Muggle/Wizard Relations, Not that I don't love Lames as much as the next, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Remus Lupin, Peter is asexual because I love representation, Remus is cute as heck, Sad with a Happy Ending, Second War with Voldemort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-06-14 22:16:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15398691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/socksAF/pseuds/socksAF
Summary: Remus Lupin gets the short end of the stick for his whole life, and when he finally starts to do something good and for himself, it all comes crashing down. It's not like he wasn't expecting most of it, but certain pieces of his existance makes him question why he even tries.The Marauders Day By Day from the perspective of a tiny bi Lupin that keeps going well after graduation.





	1. Carpe Retractum

In the grande launch of how life is supposed to work, Remus was dealt the short end of the stick. Of course, it wasn't _technically_ his fault; he was four years old, and his father decides to intervene the trial of a werewolf, going as far as to spout his harsh thoughts towards all werewolves out loud, enough for one of them to attack for them all.

The exact act of being turned was the purest feeling of pain he will ever remember. Nothing could ever compare to the burning, the snarling, the knowledge of what was happening, the fear he felt crawling through his body and his overwhelming need to get free and get to his mother. He heard yelling, and cursing, and a hex hit him slightly, but all at once the hanging figure above him was gone with the flick of his tongue over his teeth and Remus was safely in his mother's arms, sobbing of pain and fear and his father was looking defeated, back turned to his son.

"He's still alive, Ly" his mother choked out against her sobs. Quickly, Remus figured out what kind of a stain he would forever be to his family when he saw the look of shock on his father's face.

That was a few years ago, and now being a handful of full moons later, he gets a kiss from his mother on his head and a nervous smile from his father before he picks up his father's Hogwarts case ("it's on the older side, love.") and struggles his way onto the train. It's crowded, full of children of all different ages, with constant movement and noise and he just wants to sit down, but the lack of seats anywhere was proving difficult. His case is heavier with each step, and he questions if he should just turn back, live a normal muggle life and have nothing to do with the strange man who had come to his family home two weeks ago. The debate was quickly over in his head when he remembered his disease; no werewolf could be normal, and Dumbledore had insisted he would have a safe space and medical attention when he needed it if he went to school. That is probably the safest place he could ever be.

"Y'alright mate?" He got out of his head enough to notice a busy head of hair, and shocking eyes looking at him. It is clear this kid is on the richer end of the scale, proudly stood, smile wide and hand already outstretched towards Remus. He looks expectant, and the question sits quietly over their heads like a large cat waiting in a tree.

"Oh, euh - y-yeah, I'm good." The boy smiles, his face lighting up even more. Remus is suddenly very aware of the combined tones in his voice, his Welsh accent on display proudly.

The boy still held out his hand, and Remus shook as he quickly threw his hand out to meet him. "I'm James, I have a cabin a bit down the cart if you want to join. There's no one there right now so we might make a friend when we return but it's alright because I'm set on making a few friends the first week," he took a moment to breathe, his quick speaking making Remus feel winded. "and you are?" His tongue is stuck at the roof of his mouth, because he wants to be friends with this kid so much, never really having friends before, but his disease would stop him, and he needs to accept that he is just another face in the hallway. But he can pretend, for just this moment, because James has the patience and attention span for Remus to develop his thoughts and voice them before the topic changes, and that has never happened before.

"Remus."

"Nice to meet you," he turns around. "Follow me." They make their way down, pushing past students of different ages, before they get to an open door, where a short, squat boy is trying to put his case under the seat. James immediately rushes forwards with a breathy laugh, one that came from the chest, and helps position the other's things in a timely and helpful way, all the while introducing himself. The boy is quiet, but quick, and whimpers out who he is at an impressive rate even to James, based off the surprised look he is sporting. The boys then sit, and they both turn to Remus, who is stood still in the doorway to the cabin. James smiles, introduces Remus to who was apparently Peter and waits for them to acknowledge each other.

Peter stands, a few centimetres shorter than Remus, and darts his eyes quickly over his features before holding up a shaky wave for only a few seconds. There is no unnecessary contact, and they are both kind of awkward, so Remus figures perhaps Peter could be added to the small group of people he might talk to before the first full moon. James rattles off for a bit, explaining how excited he is, asking for what they think, went off on how he wishes to see Hogsmead and Hogwarts and Remus had only read about these things and heard brief stories from his father. He has never imagined he would be able to see any of it, so to hear James talk and Peter introduce new thoughts about sweet shops and joke shops and moving stairs, Remus is thrilled yet terrified.

Soon, the conversation shifts when Peter brings up which houses they think they will be in, James puffs his chest and proudly states it will probably be Gryffindor, not that it matters much to him. Peter thinks he might get Hufflepuff, because he believes himself reliable.

And Remus is stuck.

He hasn't had much time to actually think about which house he will be sorted into, but the thought of losing his only two friends based on personality traits made him dizzy. His dad said he would be a Ravenclaw because of his curiosity, and after it was explained to her, his mother thought him a Hufflepuff. He knows it would probably not be Slytherin, because he truly has no ambition, and also he is not dark and moody according to both his parents, and he will happily entertain the idea of being a brave Gryffindor, but that is likely not to happen either. No one could explain why; apparently orange is not the right shade for him.

Just as Remus gets out his thought, a knock at the door crowds the tiny cabin, and all three look up at a thin, willowy built figure, with his hair pushed back in a sweeping quiff and eyes so intense they hurt to look at. He is stood like a soldier, tall and steady, like he has no fears.

"Could I please sit in this cabin? There is limited space, and we're about to leave the station." It's the accent that got Remus. A twinge of French laced with the thick London accent makes everyone sit up straighter, whether they want to or not. James has a look on him that makes Remus question if he will see the side of him that should not be shown the first day, but he still wore a smile and laughs his breathy laugh of "go ahead" to the stranger.

So he does. Right across from Remus.

Which wasn't a big deal except for the fact the stranger crosses his left leg over his right, meaning his foot is now in Remus' leg room. The stranger holds a hand up to James to shake, then Remus, getting their names.

"And you are?" comes Peter, pushing across Remus slightly to hold the boy's hand.

"Black, Sirius."

"Black? Like pure blood Black? Orion?" questiones James, the previous look returning.

Sirius seems to have a moment of stalling before nodding and smoothing his coat. "That's my father."

"Cool." They all sit in the awkward silence after the train starts across the countryside, until the moment the trolly comes by, and James and Peter rush forwards towards the snacks, leaving Remus and Sirius still sitting.

"I like your bag." Sirius speaks, trailing his eyes over the stretched leather of Remus' trunk, before whipping them up to his face. Remus falters, the eye contact too much for even the slightest of moments, and he looks down at his trunk as quick as he can, knowing he needs to respond.

"Uh, thank you. It's been in the family a while." Sirius hums, and proceeds to look out the window, the dirty bits of London far behind and green fields sprouting up. He isn't sure why, but Remus does not want the quiet that is introduced to him for the first time since he was in the safety of his own home. He wants answers, and to talk to Sirius. He doesn't know why, there is truly no logical reason, but he wants it to happen.

He breathes for a moment, pushes his tongue around his mouth before blurting out, "what's a pureblood?" He can see his question floating thick between both of them, leaving everything bogged down, and his brain goes into hyper speed, knowing he messed up, knowing he probably caused a strange division in the group, if they stayed a group, and he wants suddenly to pretend like he doesn't exist at all.

Sirius takes his time to process what has just been asked of him, the gears moving quickly and it is a good fifteen seconds after the question was asked that he jerks his eyes towards Remus again, purses his lips, and tilts his head the slightest to the left. "What?" is sharp against the room, cutting quickly.

"You and James brought up Black being pureblood. I don't know what that means."

"Oh. It means I'm a full wizard. No muggle blood in my lineage. My whole family, all full wizard. The House of Black is a pureblood house." Remus lets out a soft 'oh' before looking down again. He is still bursting with questions, but Sirius is quiet, and he doesn't want to be a bother. But he looks up to see if he can pick apart the frustration, the annoyance or the anger on the boy's face, he is met with intense eye contact and an amused face.

So he goes for it.

"Will you answer more for me?"

Sirius lets his mouth crawl into a small smirk. "Yes." Remus lets out a sigh he doesn't truly know he was holding, suddenly able to unload a bit of curiosity onto this new kid.

"So if my mum was a non-magical person and dad was a wizard...?"

"Half blood."

"That's me, I guess. And if he was a pureblood like you?"

"Still a half blood."

"Ah. And two non-magical people who make a wizard?"

"Muggle born."

"And two wizards who make a non-magic is a swab?"

"Squib."

"Oh."

The questions stop. The silence no longer feels heavy, and Remus can breathe again. Sirius lets his rich aristocrat ego slouch a bit, leaning back slightly and pulling out a red trimmed book about magical animals. Remus digs around in his trunk for a pen and his notebook, going to work on a few little sketches. The journey will be long, so he settles a bit and tries to relax.

* * *

 

By the time they get to the Hogsmead station, James has broken Remus' pen in his excitement, Peter had given him a new one, and Sirius had two naps.

They are all changed into their new and used robes, leaving their luggage behind and trail after a tall man toward some boats that take them over the lake. It only takes a few moments for them to get out of the boats and trail like ducklings up the winding paths to the castle.

It is, by all means, a castle, his father had not lied about that. Ghosts, a poltergeist, professors, and students shuffle about, before they can walk into the Great Hall. He knows he is a part of it, but there is a collective gasp as they enter, going between the Hufflepuff table and the Ravenclaw table, the students watching them all enter.

And then they stand while they are sorted, and he kind of zones out, but notices Sirius go so pale he looks ill when he is Gryffindor, and there is another collective gasp. He doesn't know why, but Sirius does not sit at the table.

He runs out of the hall.

After debating with the hat for over seven minutes about which house he should be sorted into, that hat doublechecks what he notices before exclaiming that Remus will be a Gryffindor, the table welcoming him with cheers and whistles and he feels so light he doesn't even remember moving from the stool up front. James lights up when he too is Gryffindor, not that he's surprised, and skips over to sit between Remus and Peter, who is still shocked about the hat's choice. He keeps repeating "it has to be wrong" as a few older students laugh.

Sirius does not return, and he isn't seen among the students until the next morning in charms class. He sits slouched, closest to the door, the complete opposite of James, Peter and Remus, and he is the first to leave and the last one to arrive to every class the whole day.

And he doesn't know why, but Remus misses the foot invading his leg space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I don't know what an upload pattern is gonna look like because those never seem to work for me but whoops what can you do?
> 
> Any questions just let me know and I can get back to you. 
> 
> Please enjoy, be kind.


	2. Alohomora

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically I used human emotions and created a shit show; you're welcome. 
> 
> Also, some Good Boys find out some important stuff about each other and we love that. Remus has some problems, James can't function, Sirius doesn't cry, and Peter is rolling on the floor lol have fun.

Sirius is in their room the next day, spaced out next to James and Remus' beds in his own and seeming scared of something. James sees him first, rushing up and questioning him at lightening speed before Peter can pull him away, because now Sirius looks incredibly nervous and Remus can tell he's about to bolt because that is the exact same face he made when he was put into Gryffindor. 

Remus keeps his distance, but barely takes his eyes off the quiet boy lodged up into the corner of the room. Frank doesn't seem to have an opinion, simply saying he's going to go try and figure out the stair case, which Peter is quick to follow behind him, intrigued on how they move. Remus said no with a soft smile, saying he's tired and wants to get settled. James says the same, but as soon as they leave he is jumping onto Remus's bed and stretching flat like a cat, hands behind his head and flashing his pearly smile. Remus sighs, but doesn't tell him off. 

Instead, he goes to sit next to James, leaning against his warm body to look at Sirius, curled up into a ball under his bed sheets facing the two remaining boys. 

Remus let his hands fall to his knees, let his eyes lower to his shoes, and spot a bright pink envelope under Sirius' bed. It's too soon for any family letters, so he voiced the thought and Sirius lets out a soft, shaking sigh. James doesn't say anything, thankfully. 

"Can we talk about it?" Remus tries, aiming for something open ended and obviously up for the answer of 'no don't speak to me ever again'. That doesn't come, but Sirius shifts the blankets enough to not have his mouth covered. 

"The hat got it wrong."

"Well that's what Pete was saying too but -"

"No." Remus was confused with how much he felt the sad answer, nearly throwing him backwards with how much he was not expecting that from the aristocrat that showed up on the train. James is sitting up now, just as a presence, letting Remus lead and leaving Sirius to figure out his thoughts without pressure from him. 

"Why was the hat wrong, Sirius?" he tried quietly, using his soft tongue to his advantage. The other boy shook in his bed, clearly not to his control, and he let his left hand fall out of his cocoon of safety before pointing to the floor. 

The envelope.

Remus makes eye contact with Sirius, as permission, and with the nod, he reaches for the envelope. Except that there is several envelopes, all saying different variations of the same last name and all sealed with a similar family wax press.

As he picks them all up, James is leaning over his shoulder to see, and carefully asks, "why so many howlers?"

Sirius lets out a dark chuckle, a sobering 'loving family' leaving his mouth before he tucks himself back under the covers. 

Remus turns to James, a letter from Lucretia in one hand and another from Cassiopeia sitting face up on his lap. 

"What's a howler?" James sighed, not in the annoyed version, but in the sense of not wanting to deal with what has been presented. 

"It's a way of showing how you feel towards someone better than a letter. It's the sound of someone talking and it plays to you when you open it."

Remus started to understand. He moved to his knees in front of Sirius, looking him dead in the eye before he reaches up and pats Sirius' shoulder.

"Should we hear it then?" as his hand falls away after a few seconds.

"Might as well. They'll only get worse." Sirius sits up, still curled up, but with his head on his knees now and arms wrapped lightly around his legs. Remus gets up onto his bed beside James and hands him the stack of letters to hold. He lays them out on his lap before looking up towards Sirius. 

"Where do we start?" James' voice was always happy sounding, it was terrifying and strange to hear him serious and sad, directing the question to Sirius. 

"Let's go with my mum and dad."

It starts off quiet, just some breathing and a sniff. Sirius goes pale again. The letter erupts with noise and anger and curses and promises and there is no way to stop it. It's his mother, screaming at her son that he could not be more of a disgrace to the family if he tried. His father yelling about how they could never truly love him again, and how Regulus would grow up without a brother. How disgusted they were. How they hated him for being a mistake. How they should have given him up. Remus couldn't even tell what half of their words meant, but James could, and he was shaking with anger and sadness that Remus was too scared to even look away from Sirius. After the third line screamed by his mother, he had loosened his tie, laid out a neutral face, and took every word like it would bounce off of him. A few things made him flinch, yes, but he was so strong for all of it that it did not matter. 

By the end of the howler, Remus was terrified, Sirius was still, and James had gotten off the bed to pace the room. The only noise was the squeak of old floor boards and Remus' shaky breathing, the occasional hoot of an owl from outside their open window.

A cough rang out, catching the attention of James to stop his pacing. "Well," the Black boy said in his usual but slightly louder voice, "I think that's enough family drama for you both day two of Hogwarts."

Neither disagreed.

* * *

The days passed a bit easier for Sirius after that. He joined their group as more of a regular, started talking more, and generally got along wonderfully with everyone. Then the puns began. And the jokes, and the pranks and suddenly they were known around the school for always being a problem for professors and students alike. 

"Right, so here is what we're going to do, lads. Pete, you're on supervision, alright? We don't need McGonagall finding us again like last time. Remus, you need to cause a distraction. A big one, make something explode with your big brain, I don't care. Doesn't matter what it is, just make it work. James, you are crucial to how this works out, mate, so don't make a mess. I need you to figure out how to make this hallway glow. Like, bright lights, glow worms, enchantments, the whole works. I need it bright."

"And you?" Peter asked, grabbing another tart, "what are you doing while this is happening?" 

"I'm gonna break into the girls washroom." 

"Sirius!"

"I'm joking, Rem! I'm gonna break into Dumbledore's office and charm his chair to change shapes."

Remus takes a sip of his water, "this is a shit prank, mate. There's no reason for the bright hallway if you're just going into his office."

"Alright bruv, relax mate. I'm sure Sirius has a good reason to do this."

"Thank you, Jimmy!" 

"I beg to fucking differ, mate."

"See boys? Even Peter is more sensible than you." 

"Thank you?"

"Oh shut it. We can do this!"

Peter sits back a bit, nearly falling off the bench, and reaching up to grab James' shoulder before he can fall, all of them laughing at the attempt despite Peter still landing on his back on the Great Hall's floor with a wince and a winded laugh, some Gryffindors noticing he was going down and some Ravenclaws being interested in the commotion. Sirius is then sobbing into James' other side, Remus is crying into the rest of his roll in his hand, and James laughing so loudly that even some professors caught sight of what was happening. With that, their head of house is stood, makes her way towards the group with a passive face and stops just behind Remus, who is now struggling to breathe because Sirius has as well started to fall off the bench.

"Detention, Mr. Petegrew. You as well, Mr. Potter."

"Yes ma'am." James manages, scolding his voice back into something that is considered respectful. McGonagall looks to Sirius, who smiles his innocent face to her, and she moves to Remus, who can't bring himself to make eye contact without bursting into tears and laughter again. Satisfied, she walks back to the front table, and Sirius starts to giggle again, before looking at Remus and making him giggle too, and James chimes in with his deeper giggles resting in the base of his throat, and Peter is still on the floor, his body convulsing with laughter. 

It was in that exact moment of watching his new friends laughing, their eyes bright and their issues aside, that he knows he cannot let them go. And no disease is going to stop him from keeping them close. 

* * *

As the full moon approaches, Remus gets tired quickly, leading to him memorizing the library while the others go off on mundane adventures throughout the castle and the grounds. He finds he is quite a fan of an older, more rickety arm chair that sits under the largest northern most window, with a view of the Scottish country side that makes him a bit home sick. It is there he curls up with books of all sizes, genres, and difficulty. 

Once Peter came with him to scope out what the restricted section looked like and gave up only ten minutes of Remus being there because he can always find something new and interesting. Today, that something is about understanding magical gardening, and he heads to his usual spot, when he sees a ginger sat in his unassigned seat. 

He doesn't want to kick her out, because honestly, she seems pretty uncomfortable in the spot anyways, like she might pack up and leave at any moment, as well as the fact he cannot handle confrontation over something so ridiculous. So he sits at a table, still close to his spot, and lays out his book to settle in and read. But he keeps watching her, waiting for the moment she leaves to snatch up his spot. 

Except she doesn't leave, no matter how uncomfortable she looks, no matter how long she's been sat there, she does not move. And Remus can't bring it upon himself to just look away and moved on and give up his spot for this small ginger, so he stays and watches her fiddle and mess about with her things and the books and the blinds and her shoes at one point and eventually it's too late to even worry about the ginger because tea is on and Remus is not letting Peter take all the peas again. So he packs up his book, puts it back on the shelf, turns around, and is trapped in his spot by the small ginger, her form a lot less intimidating up close but her intensity clear. 

"What?" she speaks clearly, cracking her voice through the quiet thick throughout the whole library. "What is the problem?"

"What?"

"Why were you staring at me this whole time? What have I done?" She is intense, her eye contact amazing, and she has this aura of authority, that had he the space, Remus would have rolled over and given her alpha position in no time. To her, despite the issue of not knowing who she is, he cannot lie.

"You were sitting in my usual spot and I was waiting for you to move."

"And I did not, so?"

"So nothing. You didn't move. I'm not angry, I'm sorry for that impression." She softened slightly.

"Why have I never seen you around Gryffindor?"

"I tend to keep to myself."

"Ah. Lily Evans, pleasure to meet you."

"Remus."

"Are you headed to the Hall?"

"Yeah, you?"

"No, I need to find a new spot to sit. G'day, Remus." And she's off before Remus can say anything, not that he really would because he misses his spot and he might have made a friend.

* * *

He flops down quickly next to Sirius, who hands him the vegetables almost immediately. "Alright, who is Lily Evans?"

Peter kicks in as soon as he gets the chance, "first year, our house, seemingly good at everything, pretty, nice, smells like flowers which is fitting and -"

"Why? You game?"

"Sirius, don't be crude."

"Thank you, James. Pete, continue."

"I think she's an only child? I don't know."

"Do you talk to her?"

"Only once in the hall, but word gets around in the common rooms. She's smart, according the Cheryl."

"Wait, who are we talking about?"

"Sirius!"

"What does she look like?"

"Ginger, kinda small, think she's got one of them charm bracelets?"

"Yeah, and she's kinda intimidating?"

"She's like half your size, Rem."

"And?"

"Wait a sec; is she the super fit, hangs with Mary? She were by the fire last night? Sirius, help me out here."

"Nah." He bit into his roll.

"I don't know, I wasn't looking at her like a bird."

"Neither was I!"

"James, you literally just called her fit."

"And?"

"You're both hopeless. Thanks, Pete."

"No problem, mate, pass the veg."

"Cheers, Rem. Now you've made me and James look like we search for birds on the reg."

"You don't?"

"Peter! Have ye no faith in us? Sirius and I come from high class, important families! We've taken etiquette classes! We know how to properly treat a woman!" 

"Right, and I'm a Virgo." 

"Well excuse you, mister moony face! How are we getting blamed for everything whilst you can eye up Lily flippin Evans and get away with it as just picking up information?" 

"Because I wasn't the one who called her fit, you diawl bach." 

"Sirius, leave the man alone and eat your dinner." 

He glares at James, a look of amusement still dancing in his smirk, "Yes, mum." Peter cackles, spitting some of his pumpkin juice into his lap. 

Remus has never felt as light as in this moment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Diawl bach means little devil and idk it was cute and that's the only welsh insult I know. But here is James Potter being a mom and bants for the sake of these boys being eleven and we all enjoy bants between some boys who deserved better.


	3. Aguamenti

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus Lupin is a werewolf *Not clickbait!! Spoiler!! Gone Wrong*

The full moon came up quickly, Remus aching for a week before being called into Dumbledore's office just after Muggle Studies and before dinner. To be sure he would be safe, the headmaster has some house elves bring up food for Remus and himself to eat in his office, so he might explain some more. Biting into his roast vegetables, he watches the last elf climb through a cupboard in the wall and they are alone, Dumbledore's full attention facing the boy before him.

"Remus, as you know, your condition is hard to accommodate, but we have promised you a safe place to transform, away from students and the people of Hogsmead. Go to the window." Remus stands, heading over the floor to ceiling windows that line the back of the office, Dumbledore remaining in his seat. 

"Do you see the tree? Far right, Professor McGonagall should be underneath." The tree is ugly, and large, hanging well beyond what a normal tree would do. It is shaking, swaying back and forth as McGonagall stands at the roots, throwing purple strikes of magic, and it just keeps swaying.

"Yes, sir."

"That tree belongs to you." Remus turns around to stare at the back of the headmaster's tall hat.

"What?"

"You heard. The tree is yours. No one but you."

Remus was in shock. He owned a tree? How would that change how he needed safety? 

"Come finish your dinner quickly and I will explain further."

Throughout dinner and walking through tunnels leading to outside straight from Dumbledore's office, everything was explained to Remus, even if his head was still spinning from the idea that he owned a tree at Hogwarts and that was somehow going to keep others safe around him. 

It is all pretty simple, the tunnel system linking to an older house further into the woods, abandoned and alone and now belonging to an eleven year old boy for ten months out of the year. The Whomping Willow stands proudly in contrast to the rest of the forest surrounding it, the thick trunk and strange branches still swaying, despite McGonagall no longer casting at it. 

"The willow itself is sentient, and extinct, so everyone here has been given strict instructions not to mess about. However, if they do, the tree will act out in a violent manor. You see, Mr. Lupin, a Whomping Willow is used as a weapon in past cases, so we feel like it will give you the protection you need."

"It will protect me? And the others? And Hogsmead?"

"Yes, but this tree will attack anyone without hesitation, so you must be swift and careful getting to the trunk. Just there; slightly on the left at the base, is a knot. You must press that knot and it will be immobile for a few seconds, enough for you to get in and out with little to no issue."

"What if I can't get in?" McGonagall laughs lightly, pushing Remus towards the tree slightly. 

"Try it." 

So he does. And he gets his arse whooped by a tree, before moving quickly to the right and the left in a zigzag and reaching the knot. The moment his fingertips touch the rough tree, it stops moving all together, falling back into the slumped state he knows is normal. Remus hurries down the hole at the base, a slanted path leading further into the ground, before turning quickly back to his professors, who smile and bid him well, telling him Miss Pomfrey will be here in the morning to collect him. 

The actual tunnel underground is sturdy, tall enough that he can't reach the roof with his hands outstretched, and clearly charmed. It is, however, still a tunnel, which leads eventually into a door with two locks on it. Upon opening the door, he notices first how large and practically empty the house is, and then two keys with wings flying around above his head. The keys are quick to fly behind him and close the door, locking him inside for the night.

The largest room he finds, after locking the door, has a grand piano, that has clearly been there a while, along with a table and two chairs. Most of the windows are boarded up, despite hanging glass still intact, and it is slightly chilly everywhere, but he assumes that is because of some drafts throughout the old house. He wants to light a fire, knowing he would be here all night stuck in the dark and the cold if he doesn't start it now, but he hesitates, because people will see, and think he's squatting, and come to investigate, which is exactly what Remus does not want to happen. So he doesn't. He pulls some wood off the windows with all his strength, and watches the sun set over the Scottish countryside. 

In this moment, he feels very alone. This is the first time he is far away from people in his transformation, his mother and father always just outside. And he craves anyone to be around. 

* * *

As soon as it had come, the full moon was gone, the morning sun being a welcomed gift to the werewolf, as he shrinks back to his regular size, the keys flying around to their respective locks the moment the sun hit the house, and he crashes down the tunnel until he gets to the tunnel entrance. As he had done before, he reaches around and touches the knot, and before he has even climbed out of the hole, Miss Pomfrey is there, draping him in clothes and ushering him towards the hospital wing. 

The plan is for Remus to stay in the hospital wing for a few days, Miss Pomphery trying out different pieces of magical healing to try and figure out the quickest and most effective to try and get Remus up and moving again. With this, he learns he is allergic to newt tails, and also does not appreciate ibuprofen nearly enough. He mentions this to his mother in a letter, noting that it would probably really help when mixed with aqua vitæ and alihotsy, something he knows they do not have laying around at home, but had his father found some around, they should test them. It is probably cheaper than another healer in America.

As for Miss Pomfrey, she is a gentle woman, but tough, and her skills go far beyond anything his mother had ever done for his healing, or any other healer he had ever been dragged to. Before she begins anything, she always says, "let me know if you need a break or I'm going too hard," and he believes he would feel no need to tell her anything and just keep his mouth shut. At about twenty seconds in, he tells her he needs a break, and she quickly figures out how much pressure and how much she can get done before he has to ask her to stop, or slow down. It's pretty impressive to him, knowing he now has a doctor he can rely on, someone who knows what he can handle, only after five minutes together. They joke, and laugh, and he is comfortable with her in the wing, despite the pain he experienced, and he feels he will get the absolute best care with her as the healer. 

He is out of classes for only three days, shorter than what he had anticipated, and he has had his work delivered by Dumbledore himself after two days in the hospital wing. By the third day, he is caught up and ready to sit in on classes again.

When he gets back to the tower, he is bombarded with questions from James mostly, with Sirius and Peter being concerned but not overbearing. He tells them he had a family emergency at home and had to leave quickly. The group is sceptical, but decides to collectively let it go for the sake of Remus avoiding answering their questions. Sirius is the only one that studies Remus, noticing him moving a bit slower, being very drained, the scratches on his arm. Of course, he doesn't point it out, that being rude, but he does voice his concern the next time he and Remus are alone, and of course Remus avoids truly answering the question. 

"I just don't want you being hurt and thinking we won't care. Because we do! Hell, we would all kill for you, Remus."

"Sirius, I'm okay. It was a family matter, and I hurt myself when I was playing with my younger cousins. I'm alright."

"And you're not lying to me?"

Remus hesitates, but only for a moment, before he laughs and says, "and why would I lie to you?" Sirius laughs as well, accepting the excuse, and the topic is dropped. 

That night, after everyone has gone to sleep, Remus sits looking out their window, at the grand expanse that is the Hogwarts grounds. He thinks back to what he told the group, rethinking his lie. That's what he's doing, right? He's lying to his best friends, his only friends, because he's scared of their judgement. Of their actions. 

No, he's protecting himself from the wizard of world and the non-magical world. He's protecting others. If they knew he was what he was, they would all be in danger. No one knows about his lycanthropy, and it is better this way, in the big picture. He looks over at his friends, the contrast of soft and loud snoring between Peter and James, the rise and fall of Sirius' figure buried under his blankets, the way their things have begun to create a mutual use pile at the foot of each of their beds. The soft glow of the moon filtering through the windows, the stacks of books, a small cupboard by the door creaking quietly open enough to see a house elf waiting for Remus to go to sleep to do some work. 

He sighs, thinking of what is to come for him, and perhaps he should paint the shack's inside so it doesn't send him insane for picking off the chipping paint while he waits for morning. He crawls back into his bed, his mother's knitted quilt pattern swallowing him whole as he tries to drift into sleep, using James' snore to lull him away. 

* * *

Life is very much the same for a while. Classes continue, Sirius pulls everyone into detention a few times, Peter nearly has a mental breakdown over an paper they have to write for Defence class, and his mother sends him a few new sweaters after he finds Sirius stealing them for himself, before giving the majority of the package to him, so he has soft sweaters too and he can stop stealing Remus'. 

As for Lily, she finds she likes an armchair that is on the other side of the library, but charms her way around with the librarian and is able to move the chair closer to Remus, where they now study together and exchange books and talk in general about how everything is in the sunlight streaming from the window. He learns she has a non-magical sister, Petunia, who is not very fond of Lily's "gifts", and about her own friends who both attend Hogwarts and regular school, like he did. Certain friends she brings up a lot at Hogwarts are Mary, in Gryffindor, and Severus, in Slytherin. They get along fine, no matter the bias of houses and the rivalry, probably because they were friends before they even got to school. 

"Is he nice?" Remus finds himself asking, liking the way Lily's face relaxes when she talks about them. 

"Mary is very nice, I think you would like her. Severus... is a tough flavour sometimes, but I do enjoy his company. I just wish everyone would leave him be."

"What do you mean?"

"Well," she sighs, "he seems to always get on the wrong foot for many people. He's quiet, and pretty reserved, so people tend to put a target on his back. He's not really having a good first year so far."

"Is he okay? Is he making other friends apart from you?"

"I think so? He talks to some other people in his house, but I don't know if that's because they're friends or they're housemates."

"Well, next time you see him, you give him my best." 

* * *

Sirius is always the first awake, something hardly anyone knows, because he sits in his bed reading until Peter or James wakes up, then he pretends he heard them moving around and could not sleep anymore. It's not a big deal, but it is something that Remus notes to question at a later date. 

Remus, however, is not a morning person. In fact, he misses breakfast most days, only getting any food because Peter makes him a plate before everything disappears, and is pretty constantly late for first class, something his professors are not pleased about.

This morning, however, Sirius does not wake up early. Instead, he wakes up only after Remus leaves for breakfast with Peter, following James down the stairs to the common room and the morning commotion. He does not arrive until after the breakfast is taken away, opting to skip food all together in order to get to class on time. The three show their concern, Peter starting a few jokes to pass the time, but Remus can read that expression like there is no tomorrow. He invented that expression. That is his expression. 

Please don't ask me if I'm okay. 

After Professor Binns has taught his class, Peter and Sirius head off to Transfiguration, while Remus and James head off to Charms, chatting their respective conversations and causing riots in the halls. It is only once they settle into their seats and wait for their prof that Remus brings up the way Sirius was acting earlier. 

"I'm sure he's fine, Rem. He would say if he wasn't."

"But what if he doesn't!"

"I'm not going to force it out of him. He'll figure it out and ask for help."

"James, can you stop pulling that bullshit with me? Please? We both know he's not going to ask for help, he's Sirius. You need to talk to him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOF I personally hate this chapter but it did have to get established how the willow was introduced to Remus and how the first transformation went down. Also, when is Sirius gonna start letting people in?? What happened to the other howlers? What's gonna happen next?? When am I going to establish an update schedule? Guess we'll find out.


End file.
